While Benjamin Franklin is well regarded as one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America as well as a scientist, his larger body of humor work is not well known. Although Franklin published "Poor Richard's Almanac" from 1733 to 1758, history remembers him more for his diplomatic efforts and his scientific discoveries. Editor Carl Japiske compiles Franklin's humor essays in Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School but with a twist: the book ends on a low note of the editor's creation.
Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School
Some of the essays from Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School come from introductions to Franklin's famous Poor Richard Almanac series, while others were rescued from more obscure archives. Long before modern pranks such as the Sokol Affair took place, Franklin was pranking the Royal Academy of Brusselles with his "The Letter to the Royal Academy," also known as "Fart Proudly," suggesting a unique scientific prize:
"My Prize Question therefore should be, To discover some Drug wholesome and not disagreeable, to be mixed with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the Natural Discharges, of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreeable as Perfumes." (15)
While Franklin could not have predicted the use of Beano, which has yet to make "Natural Discharges" smell like "Perfumes" but that attempts to neutralize, his introduction of the ludicrous in deadpan manner was part of the relatively new political satire movement of the time; Jonathan Swift of "A Modest Proposal" fame was Franklin's contemporary and, no doubt, his intellectual and wit equal.
On Choosing a Mistress
Franklin's "Fart Proudly" letter is amusing, but he shines in his 1745 essay "On Choosing a Mistress." A popular essay for use in U.S. History survey courses, in this tidbit Franklin gives advice to a friend on the hazards of choosing a mistress. Marriage is the only remedy for lustful inclinations, but if the friend is determined to stray outside marriage, Franklin advises, "you should prefer old Women to young ones." (27)
Why? Franklin offers some basic, clean advice: they are more knowledgeable, they are more discreet, they cannot get pregnant, and then he gets down to more lascivious details:
"...covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old one from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure or corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of improvement." (27)
The final virtue of choosing an older woman? "They are so grateful!" (28)
Professors choosing to teach this essay in a U.S. History course may need to prepare for outrage and snickers, with outrage coming mostly from young women and snickers from young men and, well, older female students.
The Dream – Where the Editor Slips
Japiske chose to end this humorous collection with an essay of his own, in which he tells the tale of a "dream" in which he discusses the state of political affairs and freedom with Benjamin Franklin. Set around the 1980s, the essay takes what would now be considered a strong Libertarian, or even a Tea Party approach to political issues. The essay sullies the collection, trying to spin Franklin's works for an argument that reinforces the editor's personal political ideology.
Whatever the reader's political leanings, "The Dream" is so wildly different from anything Franklin wrote and is an incongruous piece that takes an otherwise fantastic book and makes it more mediocre.
To Buy the Book Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School:
Japiske, Carl. Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School. Enthea Press, 1990. Most of the essays can be found in the public domain online as well.
Melanie Zoltan - Melanie Zoltan is a former college professor and administrator who has written for About.com, PCWorld, Brain Child, Thomson Gale, and ...
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